How delightful to see you! You're looking like a billion dollars! That suit is spectacular, your shoes are dynamite and you hair smells ultra wicked. You're the full package, and I love you. Now, we need to talk about this whole gross misconduct situation.
Before we do though, let's listen to the latest Sorry Not in Service podcast. It's all attractive as you are. It's got anti terrorism, pro TV guides, VERY pro hedge trimming tales and VERY BIG pro hair and beauty tips.
So, we'll do that and then we'll fire you.
To download the podcast, doff your cap to John Craven or Ian Hislop. To listen to the show with all the pop music on it, blow a kiss to Betty Boothroyd. To win the chance to tickle a vicar, go to a vicar and ask politely but firmly.