Quick! Open it! Open it! You are going to be so pumped when you open it! Do you want me to help? OK, OK, i'm just really excited to see your face when you open it! Well, what do you think? Oh. No, I sort of understand. I'm sorry. It felt like a good idea. No, there is no receipt, I got it from an alley man.
Well maybe this will make things better - it's the podcast of the Sorry Not in Service crispus special, broadcast on the crispus day!
It has swearing, and live music and presents, and anecdotes and words, and enough bonhomie to sink a ship and kill 17 sailors.
To download the podcast, go to this house, or this one. If you want, you can listen to the show with all the pop music on it here, or you could find out whether Jesus preferred eggs or Golden Grahams for breakfast by speaking nicely to a vicar.
Is that better? Good. Can I have my change now please?